Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Pickles Comic Strip, June 27, 2016 on GoComics.com

One of the many great comics you can read for free at GoComics.com! Follow us for giveaways & giggles.

Source: Pickles Comic Strip, June 27, 2016 on GoComics.com

Henry Larsen | | journalstar.com

When I was about 10 years old, I received a spanking for something I did not do. My feelings were hurt more than anything else but I was feeling pretty miserable.

Source: Henry Larsen | | journalstar.com

When I was about 10 years old, I received a spanking for something I did not do. My feelings were hurt more than anything else but I was feeling pretty miserable. I remember thinking “It’s not fair!”

At the dinner table that night, my 8-year-old brother, Stanley, with head hung low confessed that he had done the misdeed.

My father had to think quickly to right this wrong but it only took him a couple seconds. His response restored justice in an instant and brought great laughter to the entire family.

Dad slowly pushed his chair back, leaned forward just a bit and announced for God and everyone to hear, “Next time Keith does something wrong, I’ll give Stanley a spanking.”

Of course we never did swap spankings but in that moment, at that table, Dad had artfully restored my dignity and sense of justice.”

— Keith Larsen, Lincoln

 

Joke: A critical Mistake! | Funny – BabaMail

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

more…

Source: Joke: A critical Mistake! | Funny – BabaMail

Cartoon Character Trivia | Time Capsule Trivia | Pop Culture — Reminisce

Cartoon Character Trivia They raced across your TV screen—creating chaos, solving mysteries and occasionally teaching lessons. But how well do you know your animated friends? Test your know-how with our cartoon character trivia!

Which 1970s cartoon taught grammar lessons you could sing to?
Actor Daws Butler was responsible for the distinctive Southern drawl of what blue-hued pooch?
What once-silent cartoon feline was the first balloon to appear in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade?
Which cute flapper girl character was modeled after 1920s singing sensation Helen Kane?
The characters of what classic cartoon have earned five Academy Awards for best cartoon short?
While in development, the canine star of which series was going to be a sheepdog named Too Much?
What Stone Age family still appears on cereal boxes?
Which two lifelong frenemies swam alongside Esther Williams in the 1953 movie Dangerous When Wet? Time’s up, pencils down!

Click below for the answers to this month’s cartoon character trivia!
Want more Time Capsule Trivia?
Sign up for our free monthly e-newsletter and get new trivia questions (and other fun Reminisce stories) mailed to your inbox each month!

Source: Cartoon Character Trivia | Time Capsule Trivia | Pop Culture — Reminisce

Lincoln 55+ Seniors Paper | For Seniors and their Families

The Lincoln 55+ Seniors Paper is coming Next Thursday. In the meantime, please take a look at our blog entries. I think you will enjoy the view -keith —

For Seniors and their Families

Source: Lincoln 55+ Seniors Paper | For Seniors and their Families

Joke: What to do after retirement | Funny – BabaMail

Working people frequently ask us, as a retired couple,  what we do to make our days interesting.
Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about five minutes.
When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, ‘Come on sir, how about giving a pensioner a break?

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. So I called him afascist bastard. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres. So my wife called him a total pillock. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. We continued to call him every name under the sun, and he just kept writing those tickets…
This went on for about 20 minutes, and then our bus arrived.
There’s always something fun to do as a pensioner...

 

Source: Joke: What to do after retirement | Funny – BabaMail

From Dog to God | Spirituality – BabaMail

Source: From Dog to God | Spirituality – BabaMail

Like all of God’s creatures, sometimes the dog has some questions he’d like to get answered, and if we could understand their nightly prayers, maybe they would sound something like this…
Dear God: Is it on purpose that our Names are spelled the same, only in reverse?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or will it be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard to rename the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there any mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
The images are precious – http://www.ba-bamail.com/content.aspx?emailid=18192&memberid=1033548

Dear God: Here is a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog:
1. I will not eat the cat’s food before he eats it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.
10. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’, so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven,
will I still be neutered?

Joke: Advice from the pope

Joke: Advice from the pope.

Joke: The Pope and the Beggar

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy.
 
One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the Star of David. Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.
 
The Pope comes by. He stops to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none give to the beggar holding the Star of David. He feels sorry for him.

 

pope

Finally, the Pope approaches the beggar with the Star of David and says: “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of spite!”
 
The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turned to the beggar with the Cross and said: “Moishe, would you look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!

Little Old Lady –

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH.  Says he to himself: “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.  Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies – two in the front seat and three in the back – wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit!  What seems to be the problem?”
“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”
“Slower than the speed limit?  No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly…Twenty-two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly.
The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22 is the highway number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error.
“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask..Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven’t made a peep this whole time,” the officer asks.
“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer.  We just got off Highway 189.”

 

The Most Epic Safety Video Ever Made – YouTube 4:39

The Most Epic Safety Video Ever Made #airnzhobbit – YouTube.

Air New Zealand

Southwest Airlines Safety Presentation – Video 3:05

Lincoln 55 Plus Seniors paper Logo rgb 2x2Southwest Airlines Safety Presentation –
Please take time to link and laugh. This Video will burn calories and brighten up your day. -keith

If you have ever flown Southwest Airlines and had an experienced flight crew then chances are you have heard a funny safety presentation. This Southwest Airline Safety Presentation is a great example of what you can expect from a fun and entertaining crew that loves their job. I have flown Southwest Airlines for over 20 years and while somethings have gotten worse as they’ve gotten bigger they are still a great airline. If you liked this then you might also like to listen to this funny song about Cheap Flights.

via Southwest Airlines Safety Presentation.

Funny Video for Seniors – 7:31

Homeinstead Invocation plus more. – You don’t get a chance to “practice” Old Age.

Mary Maxwell was asked to pray before a dinner honoring caregivers, but she also takes the opportunity to bring a laughter to the audience. Though she does ask the blessing, she also delivers a hilarious speech on aging gives a light-hearted look at the changes we will all will inevitably face. What a funny lady she is!

go here –> http://faithtap.com/1870/mary-maxwell-speech-at-caregiver-award-dinner/

Random Hair Growth
Turn signals are left on
Large skin growths
Lively neck tissue
Ordering fries from a mailbox
Dillard’s bill in the collection tray
Getting in the wrong Car
Driving into the wrong end of the car wash
Mismatched earings
Tried to Jog with a glass of wine
Blessed are they —

 http://www.homeinstead.com/pages/home.aspx

Sketchy Ice Creams from Birdbox Studio – YouTube

Sketchy Ice Creams from Birdbox Studio

via Sketchy Ice Creams from Birdbox Studio – YouTube.

▶ Coach Pelini Movie Night Phone Prank – YouTube

▶ Coach Pelini Movie Night Phone Prank – YouTube.

This is a new one for me. Enjoy…

Published on Aug 23, 2013

Football is a game of deception.

Coach Pelini surprised the #Huskers with a night at the movies

Nostalgia Quiz for All Seniors. 55 Plus

Great photos of stuff we all remember -keith

& G N TO YOU —OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AGE TEST! This is fun!.

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